Bifocal Contacts

A couple of years ago I had to get bifocal eyeglasses. Since I wear my contact lenses about 14 hours a day and they changed the contact Rx slowly, I never noticed a problem with my aging eyes -- until now.

Recently I've had trouble reading small print. I just can't get it to focus no matter where I put it, even with a new Rx for my contacts. I spent the weekend with a pair of over-the-counter reading glasses for emergencies but they weren't quite right either. I was so frustrated! Oh sure, reading glasses are way better than the Coke-bottle glasses I used to wear before I got contacts at age 18, but I don't like the inconvenience.

Today they eye doctor gave me bifocal contacts to try. Unlike my old contacts where one eye saw clearly up close and the other eye saw clearly far away (don't ask me how my brain figured it out!), these contacts are bifocal lenses, just like my glasses. I don't understand how they work but they are like magic! Once again I can see any range and it feels very natural. Best of all, no reading glasses are required. Whew.

I've got to stop typing now. Now that I can see better, I have papers to grade and books to read!

Brain Age and Other Puzzles

I've never been good at crossword puzzles or Scrabble (oh, the irony for an English/writing teacher!), so I've doing more crosswords and slowly getting better. The last time we went to Traverse City, I discovered that the Detroit Free Press has an acrostic puzzle every Saturday. I love acrostics! I like Sudoku, too, as I've mentioned before.

Last year my mom-in-law got a Nintendo DS Lite and a Brain Age 2 game for her birthday. The game is supposed to stimulate the cortex, improving memory. The games are challenging but fun.

As a reward for surviving the first three weeks of the semester and completing my Major Review, I bought myself a Nintendo DS Lite and Brain Age 1. Brain Age 1 has completely difference games than Brain Age 2, so Mom and I can trade. I'd like to get Ultimate Brain Games and Ultimate Card Games when they are released for the DS.

No doubt all this cortical stimulation will help me avoid perpetuating the absent-minded professor stereotype. :)

That Explains Everything!

I found this in an ad on WebMD:

"Being active and over 40 can be a pain. Boomeritis."

That explains everything!

Why My Students Make Me Feel Old

Every year Beloit College publishes a mindset list to familiarize professors with what their freshman know and "to slow the rapid onset of 'hardening of the references,' in the classroom." All I know is that it makes me feel really old. Heck, I don't even understand some of the references on the list!

Here are few of the items, seen from the point of view of the typical college freshman this year:

• Ricky Nelson, Richard Burton, Samantha Smith, Laura Ashley, Orson Welles, Karen Ann Quinlin, Benigno Aquino, and the U.S. Football League have always been dead.
• Paul Newman has always made salad dressing.
• Computers have always fit in their backpacks.
• Stores have always had scanners at the checkout.
• There have never been dress codes in restaurants.
• They have always been able to make photocopies at home.
• They have always been able to make phone calls from planes.
• Yuppies are almost as old as hippies.
• There has always been Lean Cuisine.
• Bert and Ernie are old enough to be their parents.

Scary, eh? Not only do I have nothing in common with my students, most of them don't read for pleasure, or out of curiosity. I learned this when, while trying to get to know my students better, I asked them to name their favorite book or series, and most couldn't. The did have favorite movies; unfortunately they were crap like Dumb and Dumber. Thank God for Jo Rowling. Some of them now read more, thanks to Harry Potter.

No wonder they have a hard time relating to their college instructors, even the younger ones. Ah well, at least my friends and colleagues are old, too, so we can understand each other. :)