Mythcon Day 4 (Monday): The Last Day

The only events schedule for today were breakfast, the annual Mythopoeic Society Meeting, and Closing Ceremonies.

I tried to be virtuous at breakfast and limited myself to eggs and cereal. After breakfast we packed and checked out. I decided to wear shorts and did manage to stuff everything in my suitcase (a carry-on wheely bag), though zipping it was quite a struggle. :)

The Mythopoeic Society Meeting was brief and ended with an auction of the remaining three ducks. The lady who made them numbered and signed them for us and I'll just bet these silly ducks show up at Mythcon next year.

Closing Ceremonies involved singing a couple of songs about the Inklings (J. R. R. Tolkien, C. S. Lewis, and Charles Williams) and "What Shall We Do With a Drunken Hobbit?" The latter was hysterical with folks making up their own lyrics about things that happened at this year's Mythcon. Here's a sample (to the tune of "What Shall We Do With a Drunken Sailor" of course):

What shall we do with a drunken hobbit?
What shall we do with a drunken hobbit?
What shall we do with a drunken hobbit,
Early in the morning?

Way-hey the Mythcon's over
Way-hey the Mythcon's over
Way-hey the Mythcon's over
Early in the morning.

Ask him if a duck was involved,
Ask him if a duck was involved,
Ask him if a duck was involved,
Early in the morning.

Way-hey the Mythcon's over
etc.

You get the idea, I'm sure. Other lyrics were things like "Make him eat dessert twice a day" and "Make him dinner with a T-Rex." I wish I could remember all the lyrics because they were all very funny.

After four interesting and fun-filled days, I was sad to leave my new friends, but also glad to be heading home.

Our flight didn't leave until 4:45 p.m., so we stopped by The National Cowboy and Western Heritage Museum for an hour. There's a recreation of a western town, a rodeo hall of fame, Great Performers section (John Wayne is their most popular attraction), exhibits of the art of Frederick Remington and Charles Russell, lots of Native American art, a gallery of American firearms, and lots more. Most surprising to me was the statue of Abraham Lincoln (for his contributions to the settlement of the west). If you are ever in OK City, plan to visit the Cowboy Museum. I could easily have spend a whole day there!

We got to Will Rogers Airport in plenty of time to check in for our flight. Two years ago, the first time I'd flown since Sept. 11, 2001, everyone told me not to wear my cowboy boots when flying because Security would make me take them off. I wore my tennis shoes and on that trip Security only randomly asked people to remove their shoes. This trip, everyone removed their shoes. I was impressed that Security at Will Rogers Airport provided a bootjack (only in Oklahoma, right?). Of course, I was wearing tennis shoes so I didn't need the bootjack, but I appreciated it anyway.

Once we got through security and we started looking for someplace to eat lunch. As luck would have it, we ran into a couple of other folks on their way home from Mythcon and were able to make conference last a bit longer by having one last meal together.

Our flights home were all on time, uneventful, and air conditioned. :)

I’m glad I went to Mythcon. I had a lot of fun, made some new friends, and got some really good feedback on my paper. I’m excited about continuing my paper and looking for new scholarly books I heard about here. I’m also be very glad to be home with my husband and kitties. Now if I could just get that drunken Hobbit song out of my head...

Mythcon Day 3 (Sunday): Ducks and Sue the T-Rex!

First things first: my presentation went well and my paper was very well-received. I got lots of good feedback and was encouraged to expand my paper. I also got some very nice comments regarding my scholarship, things like:

• Your paper was inspirational
• Wow, I’ve read The Lord of The Rings many times and I never made the same connections you did.
• When I expressed surprise that no one has written anything on my particular topic a couple people suggested that probably meant that just as Frodo was meant to have the ring, I was meant to write on this topic, and that perhaps the big guy himself (J. R. R. Tolkien, not God :) was trying to tell me something. I doubt that, but it’s nice to know other Tolkien scholars are so impressed with my work. I know some of my readers are not familiar with The Lord of the Rings so they might not get the context, but this is high praise indeed and I am pleased.

The banquet tonight was in the Natural History Museum and we did indeed get to eat in the same room at Sue the T-Rex. In fact, we all got buttons that say “I ate with Sue.” The food was fabulous, like all our other meals: roast beef, a chicken dish, vegetarian lasagna, salad, veggies, three desserts, and wine. I’m just glad the hotel room does not have a bathroom scale because I’m sure I’ve gained weight.

A joke I made last night in the hospitality room has become a running joke. Sarah, who writes for Jeopardy and attended the same U as Berke Breathed, was telling us that Breathed’s Bloom County comic strip started in the college paper. She was describing one particular strip where he lampooned an administrator. It sounded much like a later joke in Bloom County, where Milo’s grandpa was always hunting ducks because he was sure they were communists. In fact, the comic from the college papers sounded so much like Milo’s grandpa I asked Sarah “Was there a duck involved?”. This question struck us all as very funny (we were so tired everything was funny) and we laughed about it all day today.

Tonight’s entertainment included a skit by the Not Ready for Mythcon Players. Ducks featured prominently. Duck props (made of duct tape, of course) were involved. As the source of the joke, I asked for one of the ducks.


Isn't that clever? (In case you can't tell: it's made of styrofoam, duct tape, and a popsicle stick.) It was taped to an upside down plastic cup so it would stand up.

Mythcon Day 2 (Saturday): So Much To Do, So Little Time

CAccording to our conference schedule, the hotel provides free breakfast. I skipped that since I paid for the conference meal plan and, like dinner, breakfast was a Hobbit-approved assortment of comfort food (biscuits and gravy, eggs, sausage, bacon, French Toast, and cereal).

Opening ceremonies were this morning after breakfast. They are usually done in full academic regalia but since it was 103F today most people wore shorts, t-shirts, and sandals. What a casual, fun conference!

I heard several interesting papers today, including an afternoon-long session of four papers on Tolkien and Shakespeare. Look for three of them in an essay collection of the same name early next year.

Nathan, you will be glad to know I turned the AC off (briefly) in my room this morning. LOL. It has two settings: on and off. I wore shorts again today. The sessions and vendors are in one building, meals in another, and the hotel another. The buildings are nice and cool, but the few steps outside between buildings are like stepping into an oven.

Dinner tonight was another Hobbit-approved meal (where it snowed food and rained drink). We had Chicken Kiev and Salmon for dinner with the usual salad, potatoes, bread, and choice of three desserts. (I had key lime pie.) This was after a similar lunch featuring pasta. I'm sure I've already gained weight!

At dinner I learned that the banquet Sun is at the Natural History Museum we visited Fri! Judy and I are glad because we liked it so much we were talking about going back. I forgot to mention that the museum has a replica of Sue the T-Rex from Chicago's field museum. We are hoping the banquet will be in a room with dinosaurs!

I feel like a real author now. Tonight when I was hanging out in the hospitality room Wendell Wagner handed me a copy of Tolkien on Film and asked me to sign my essay. I was quite flattered! I wrote "thank you" in Elvish and signed my name. (Don't be impressed. It's only two words and most of my Elvish vocabulary.)

My presentation is tomorrow, in the last time slot before the banquet. I figure that means I'll have no one or everyone. I'll let you know how it goes!

Mythcon Day 1 (Friday): Dinosaurs and Hobbits

Today's plans were to drive from OK City to the University of Oklahoma in Norman, check in to the Sooner Hotel on campus, check in to the conference, and find out what activities they had planned for us.

Norman is very close to OK City so it only took a few minutes to get here. We couldn't check in until this afternoon so we spent much of the day in the campus Natural History Museum -- lots of Dinosaurs and American Indian stuff. :)

We checked in to the The Sooner Hotel and Suites in the later afternoon. My room is very nice, with two beds (a queen-size and a single), a desk for the TV, and a larger desk with a 'fridge and microwave but also room for a computer. The free wireless works well, so I can stay in touch with family and friends via e-mail -- and get my daily weather, comic, and news fix every morning.

After checking in to the conference I stopped by vendor's room where I purchased a t-shirt (everyone is wearing shorts and t-shirts!) and a tote bag for the stupid jeans and polo shirt I wore Thurs., don't plan to wear again, and don't have room for in my suitcase. (Mental note: Kill Nathan for advice about "dressing warm" to compensate for extremely cold air conditioning.)

Dinner was excellent: catfish, bbq ribs, coleslaw, corn fritters, bread, salad, and a choice of deserts (chocolate chip cheesecake, double fudge cake, and strawberry Bavarian cream cake; I had the latter). The ice tea was really good (brewed and still hot)!

There was a book signing tonight at a nearby bookstore followed by fun in the hospitality room (just a few steps from our rooms), but after two nights of much less than adequate sleep I decided to go to bed early.

Before you ask: yes, I examined my bed layer by layer before getting into it and am pleased to report that the Sooner hotel is spider-free. :)

Mythcon Day 0 (Thursday): From MI to OK

Our travels plans for today were to fly out of Flint at 3:30 p.m. and end up in Oklahoma City at 10:30 p.m. We eventually arrived in OK City, but things didn't quite go as planned.

Our flight from Flint to Detroit was good but the plane was very warm. Our first clue that it would be a warm flight was when the pilot welcomed us to "Northwest Sauna." I was glad I had tossed a battery-operated hand-held fan in my flight bag at the last minute (in case of air conditioner- or power-failure). I was really annoyed that decided to wear jeans and a medium-weight silk polo shirt. My friend Nathan convinced me that the air conditioning would be so cold (to compensate for the extreme Oklahoma heat) that I'd want jeans and probably a sweater. I about died of heat stroke on the plane! I was ready to mug someone for a pair of shorts and a tank top -- and there were lots of potential victims. Everyone else I saw all day was dressed much more sensibly than I!

When we got to Detroit they rolled out the covered walk to the plane and the darn thing broke. It wouldn't open or move. We sat around in a hot plane while they tried to fix it. We offered to exit the plane via the emergency slides but the stewardess thought we were kidding. Just as they decided to move the covered hallway and use the open air stairs to the ground, a huge rainstorm broke. Fortunately, at that point they fixed the covered hallway and we were able to deplane.

Judy and I enjoyed walking around Detroit Metro a bit, then took the people mover to the end of Concourse A and had a nice dinner at Quiznos. I'd never been through the tunnel that leads to Concourse A: its sides are lighted with panels of multi-colored lights which change to the accompanying music. It was beautiful, sort of like the northern lights.

After dinner we found our gate a settled down to wait... and wait ... and wait for our flight. It was delayed twice and the gate was changed twice. We left nearly four hours late (almost 10 p.m.). I'm so glad I was traveling with Judy! Having someone to visit with made the wait much nicer.

The flight to OK City was good. I don't think I've ever flown at night. I could see the nearly-full moon and the cities under light cloud cover looked like Christmas lights shining through snow. I even got to see what a t-storm looks like from above! Very cool. The only down side (besides being exhausted) is that Judy and I were very crowded in seats obviously not made for tall or large people. I was so glad when we finally landed so I could stretch my legs! Unfortunately, when we did we were delayed again because another plane was at our gate. And they turned off the air at first so the plane was very warm.

By the time we finally deplaned, got our rental car, and got to the hotel (the Red Roof Inn near the OK City airport) it was 3 a.m. I hadn't slept well Wed. night due to the lightning so I was more than ready drop into bed.

Warning: Arachnophobes stop reading now.

When I flipped back the bedcovers I developed a whole new sympathy for my acrophobic husband: I found the biggest spider I've ever seen in my life. It was nearly the size of a quarter!

After nearly having a heart attack I called Judy to ask for advice. Then I called the desk and asked the nice young man who checked us in to come kill the big nasty spider. He had to dismantle the bed down to the floor to get it but I didn't care. That just assured me that Mr. Humungous Garden Spider wasn't living with all his family and friends under my bed. The nice guy not only put my bed back together (with military corners), he shook out each layer of bedding (including taking the pillows out of the pillowcases) so I'd know there were no more spiders -- and he wouldn't let me tip him! I told everyone at the desk this morning how impressed I was and got a business card so I can write a letter to his manager. His name is Ryan and he just got out of the Army and he didn't make feel like a whimp!

Despite exhaustion and knowing the room was spiderless, I had trouble falling asleep. All I could think about was spiders. First, I tried to relax and picture something pleasant, like my cats (who would have killed the spider for me...). Crap.

Next, I tried to meditate using a guided meditation on my iPod. "Imagine you are sitting on a cliff looking over the ocean..." (where there are no spiders). "Now imagine the sunrise..." (now I can see that there are no spiders). Crap.

Third, I scrolled through my iPod for something else to listen to. I lamented loading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (the one with the spiders!) on my iPod. Crap.

Finally, I decided to listen to The Fellowship of the Ring. I chose the "Lothlorien" chapter because our characters find a safe -- and spiderless -- haven there. Finally feel asleep. Woke up repeatedly because the bed was too hard. Kept listening to "Lothlorien" to keep away the spiders. Thank God for audio books!

Fashion Accessory or K9 Cop?

Today on CNN.com: Tiny drug dog sniffs out big career.

Isn't he just the cutest K-9 cop you've ever seen?

Mythcon 37

For the second time ever, I will be attending Mythcon, the annual conference of The Mythopoeic Society.

The Mythopoeic Society is a non-profit international literary and educational organization for the study, discussion, and enjoyment of fantastic and mythic literature, especially the works of J.R.R. Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, and Charles Williams (aka The Inklings). Mythlore is the Society's peer-reviewed journal that publishes scholarly articles on mythic and fantastic literature. Mythlore is part of the MLA database available in UMF's library via FirstSearch (in case you want to look it up).

The Society gives out four awards each year at Mythcon:

• The Mythopoeic Fantasy Award for Adult Literature
• The Mythopoeic Fantasy Award for Children's Literature
• The Mythopoeic Scholarship Award in Inkling Studies
• The Mythopoeic Scholarship Award in Myth and Fantasy Studies

This year's Mythcon is at the University of Oklahoma in Norman, Oklahoma. It's about 20 degrees hotter than Michigan. My first Mythcon was Mythcon 35 in Ann Arbor two years ago. Since it was close to home, I drove home each night and missed all the evening fun and entertainment, so I'm excited about attending and presenting a paper.

The theme of this year's Mythcon is "The Map & The Territory: Maps and Landscapes in Fantasy with a track on Native American Fantasy/Native Americans in Fantasy." I'm very interested in the Native American aspect because we will be in Cherokee country. My grandmother was part Cherokee and I know very little about that part of my heritage. I'm hoping to find good info on the Cherokee while we are there.

My paper, "The Light of Stars: Frodo's Elvish Air," has nothing to do with maps or Native Americans but Tolkien papers are always appropriate. I'm pretty happy with the draft I'll be reading and looking forward to lots of good feedback from Tolkien scholars who are even geekier than I.

I'll be traveling with Judy Kollmann. I'm a little nervous about flying (terrorists, actually, not flying itself) but I'm sure having a friend to travel with will make me more relaxed. We leave tomorrow (Thurs., Aug. 3) and get home Monday (Aug. 7). Mythcon itself is Aug. 4-7. I'll try to post daily so you can share our Mythcon adventures, even if I have to post them all after we get back home.

Festival of Flags

Davison's annual Festival of Flags is one of the reasons I love living in a small town. Here's what this year's festival included, courtesy of the Davison Chamber of Commerce:

Festival Of Flags 2006, July 26th - 30th

In Park
Ice Cream Social...Wed 26th.
FREE Train Rides...Wed 26th.
Pony Rides & Petting Zoo...all 5 days.
Davison Karate School...show Wed 26th.
Fireworks...Wed 26th at dusk.
Art-In-The-Park. Sat. & Sun. 29th & 30th.

Downtown
5-K Run...Wed 26th before parade.
Parade...Wed 26th, Largest in Genesee County for three years.
Car Cruise...Fri. 28th Main St.
M-15 Car Show-Swap Meet. Sat. 29th, prizes.
Motorcycles...during car show.
Moon-Walk...Sat. 29th for care & share
Lunch...Demolay.

New Kroger Lot
Moon-Walk, Games, Kids Music...Thurs 27th -Sun. 30th.

St. John's Family Center
Talent Show...Thurs. 27th, get applications at 810-653-6266.

Hahn Middle School
Carnival... all 5 days.
Battle of The Bands...Sat. 29th Collins Field. Info & applications-810-653-6266.

*****

My only complaint about the Festival is the timing. Since it's the Festival of Flags, I think it should revolve around a patriotic holiday, like Flag Day or July 4th. It used to be centered around Flag Day but someone decided June was too cold for evenings in the Entertainment Tent. I hope whoever made that decision is happy! This year we had near record-breaking heat and humidity just in time for the festival. There were heavy rainshowers Wed. afternoon which stopped just before the parade. Instead of cooling things off, it only got more hot and humid when the rain stopped and the sun came back out. I have no idea how the people in the 5K run or the parade could stand it. I was sweat-soaked just sitting still and watching the parade! Despite the heat & humidity it was five days of fun.

I Want This Mac!

Apple e-mailed me this ad a few days ago. Think I can convince the university to buy me a computer that grades term papers for me? :)

If only it did grade term papers...

Deadly Nigerian Scam

Today on CNN: "Slain preacher's wife fleeced in scam, lawyer says." Mary Winkler, charged with murdering her minister husband in Tennessee in March, may have been motivated by financial problems. She "had gotten tangled up along with her husband in a swindle known as an advance-fee fraud, or the 'Nigerian scam.' Scam victims are told that riches are waiting for them if they send in money to cover the processing expenses, Winkler's lawyers say."

How sad that they not only fell for this scam, but he died for it! People please, say it with me: "No foreigner is going to reward me for allowing him/her to move money into my American bank account."

If you are a victim of this scam the proper response is not to kill your spouse. Instead, contact the Better Business Bureau and the National Fraud Information Center and the Secret Service Financial Crimes Division.

As The Urban Legends Reference Site reminds us: "The Secret Service asks if you have been victimized by the Nigerian scam to forward appropriate written documentation to the United States Secret Service, Financial Crimes Division, 950 H Street, NW, Washington, D.C. 20223, or telephone (202) 406-5850, or contact by e-mail. Per their automated response system, they no longer want faxed copies of the various Nigerian scams."

Remember, there's not much anyone can do to help you once you've been scammed, so don't get taken in.

"If somebody tells you you've won something and they want even a nickel before you actually have the money in your hand, they're crooks. It's as simple as that," said Steve Baker, Midwest regional director of the Federal Trade Commission [in the CNN article].

Too bad Matthew and Mary Winkler didn't know that.

Summer Hibiscus

My hibiscus obviously enjoys heat and humidity more than I do. It's thriving on our balcony and has too many buds to count!

Longing for Fall

If you have allergies, this is going to be a long summer. The mold levels have been really high since we got a lot of rain at the end of May/beginning of June and the mold level shows no sign of dropping any time soon. This aggravates me because I'm severely allergic to mold; even when it's cool I can't really enjoy being outside (unless I decide to give up breathing).

Ragweed (the other bane of summer allergy sufferers) usually starts in late July, so allergen-wise, things are only going to get worse. The ragweed will pollinate until the first hard frost, usually the first week of October in this part of Michigan. The mold will last a little longer.

SIGH.

October is nearly three months away and it can't get here soon enough for me! In the meantime, at least I've got my air condition and, thanks to a great summer sale at Yankee Candle, my favorite autumn scents* to remind me that October will get here eventually.



* Harvest, Pumpkin Pie, and Pumkin Spice by Yankee Candle. I also like Mulled Cider by Root Candles. Cookie- or coffee-scented candles make me hungry but, weirdly, the pie-scented ones do not.

Remember "A Rose for Emily"?

Today on CNN: Police find skeleton in home of woman, 80.

When I read this headline on CNN this morning my first thought was William Faulkner's short story "A Rose for Emily".

Talk about creepy!

The End of Harry Potter

Big Harry Potter news today on CNN (Rowling hints Harry Potter might die) and FoxNews (Rowling Says Two Characters Will Die in Final Harry Potter Book). The second headline is more accurate. For the video and/or complete transcript check out the two fan sites of which J. K. Rowling approves: Muggle Net and The Leaky Cauldron.

Speaking of web sites, Rowling has a very nice web site with trivia and other fun things, but it doesn't include what we really want to know: when she'll be done writing the last book! (She really doesn't need a news section since any comment she makes is quickly snatched up by the media and reported as news.) According to The Leaky Cauldron, Rowling will probably finish the last book next year.

The new movie, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, also won't be out until next year. I was hoping for the movie this year, to make waiting for the last book a little easier. Darn!

What I'm Watching: The Da Vinci Code

Last Thursday I saw The Da Vinci Code for the second time. I hardly ever see movies at the theater any more, so that alone should tell you how much I liked it. It's very well done and follows the book closely. The cast and directing are excellent and Sir Ian McKellan (as Sir Leigh Teabing) nearly steals the show!

I've asked a couple of friends who have seen the movie but haven't read the book if they had any trouble following the plot. They did not, but of course it's even more fun it you have read the book.

Speaking of the book, here is my two cents: I don't know why people are so worked up over a book of fiction. Everywhere I look churches are having meetings to discuss The Da Vinci Code. I'd feel better if I thought they were actually reading it and making up their own minds, but I suspect that (like my aunt's church) it's just the minister telling his congregation why they shouldn't read such heratical lies.

They are missing two crucial points: 1. It's a work of fiction, and 2. Just because Dan Brown wrote it does not mean that he believes it or that he is promoting the destruction of Christianity (as some Evangelical denominations and Catholics seem to think).

How do I know it's fiction? Duh. It's in the fiction section in the bookstore. If it were real it would be in the religion or history section. Also, take a look at the copyright page (on the back of the title page). The keywords section lists the book as fiction; it also includes the usual disclaimer that "All of the characters in this book are fictious, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental."

What about the "Facts" page at the beginning of the book? Well, those facts are basically true. There was a Priory of Scion in 1099, Opus Dei does exist, and Brown describes the architecture of the settings well. Other than that, assume any details are fiction.

The "Facts" page is a way to get the reader's attention. It's no different than the author claiming to have found the enclosed manuscript under mysterious circumstances (or inherited it or whatever) and publishing it. This is just the author having fun with the reader by pretending that the characters and events are real, but that doesn't mean they are real.

For example, two of my favorite mystery authors, Laurie King and Elizabeth Peters, use this technique in their popular series. Does this mean readers think Sherlock Holmes, Mary Russell, Radcliff Emerson, and Amelia Peabody were real? Heck no! We know it's just good, wholesome fun and enjoy it.

Maybe average readers of The Da Vinci Code don't recognize this literary technique because they don't read much. They pick up the book because they've heard so much about it and assume it's all true, and overlooking the fact that it's in the fiction section.

The thing that makes The Da Vinci Code so controversial and such a best-seller is the inclusion of a theory about Jesus. One of Dan Brown's previous books, Angels and Demons, is similar to The Da Vinci Code and is about a cover-up by the Vatican. It's very good but not nearly as controversial as The Da Vinci Code. Why not? No radical Jesus theory. Throw in a controversial theory about Jesus and you've got an instant best-seller. (Remember the movie The Last Temptation of Christ?)

The irony is that the main thing some people object to in The Da Vinci Code, the idea that Jesus and Mary Magdalene married and had a child, isn't even Dan Brown's idea! He even explains in the text that it comes from Holy Blood, Holy Grail (by Michael Baigent and Richard Leigh, who sued Brown and lost). Their book sold well but wasn't an international cultural phenomena like Brown's. Why? Probably because it's in the non-fiction section. (It probably should be in the fiction section since serious Biblical scholars and historians don't see it as a reliable source. I haven't read it, so I personally can't vouch for it one way or the other.)

The Da Vinci Code should be read for what it is: an interesting, entertaining, and well-written thriller. I enjoy it for those reasons but I also like the fact that it makes readers think and probably even read other books.

At Last! Coffee I can Stand

I've always thought coffee was proof that God has a sense of humor. How could something that smells so wonderful taste so awful?! The only way I can drink it is to load it down with sugar and milk -- and if I'm going to do that, I'd rather waste those calories on something I actually like.

Finally, someone has added something that makes coffee palatable: Coca-Cola. Meet Coke Blak:

"Coke Effervescence With Coffee Essence!"

I've tried it and while it's not quite as sweet as regular Coke, it's too sweet for me. (I am used to Diet Coke.) It is good though. I'm just hoping it will be so successful they will come out with Diet Coke Blak. :)

How NOT To Start a Life Together

Want to better the odds of a happy life together? Here's now not to start a relationship:

• Lie to your parents
• Run away from home (extra demerits if involves a foreign country; treason if it involves a city or country that supports terrorists)
  
• Drop out of high school and work delivering for your dad's convenience store
  
• Spend five hours a day looking for an American wife on the Internet (be sure to use "psycho" in your screen name!)
  
• Base your choice of a spouse on that person's taste in music

Sound familiar? The more I read about Katherine Lester and Abdullah Jimzawi, the more amazed I am at their stupidity.

The latest news is that he's heartbroken (Palestinian Anguishes Over MySpace Romance) and she could be charged as a runaway (Teen involved in Web romance charged with being a runaway).

The sad part is that they probably really are surprised by the ramifications of their actions. And why isn't anyone concerned that naive American girls are targets for men who want to enter the US by marrying a citizen? Debbie Schlussel thinks so: read her blog entry on Muslim marriage scams. (Thank you dr/tbb who posted this in the comments section of my first post on this story.)

Disclaimer: I know that not all Muslims are terrorists seeking entrance to the US, so don't bother lecturing me in political correctness. I'm concerned about the radical minority who are terrorists. Remember September 11, 2001?

Stephen Hawking Quote

Today on FoxNews: a great quote from Stephen Hawking:

He urged people with physical disabilities not to give up on their ambitions.

"You can't afford to be disabled in spirit as well as physically," he said. "People won't have time for you."

What a great attitude from someone with such a debilitating disease! He also talked about his speech software. Of course, his disease wasn't the point of the article but he was very open when answering questions about it.

For the complete story read: Hawking: Pope John Paul II Argued Against Studying Origin of Universe.

'It's a Wonderful Life' Most Inspiring Film

Today on FoxNews: "George Bailey's brother proclaimed him the richest man in Bedford Falls. Now the story of the despondent businessman, who got a chance to see how ugly the world would be without him, has been proclaimed the most inspiring American movie."

No surprise there! Like millions of others, I love this film. I don't even know how many times I've seen it and I still cry every time I see the end. That's quality movie-making.

My favorite sentimental and not-so-subtle quotes:

Clarence: Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful whole, doesn't he? ... You see, George, you really had a wonderful life.

Harry: A toast to my big brother George, the richest man in town!

Dear George,
Remember, no man is a failure who has friends. Thanks for the wings!
Clarence

What about you? What are your favorite quotes, scenes, moments? Feel free to leave a comment... and don't feel like you have to wait until Christmas to enjoy this wonderful film!

MySpace or Bad Parenting?

I'm sure that by now you've heard about Katherine Lester, the 16-year-old who lied to her parents about needing a passport for a trip to Canada, then hopped on a plane for Jordan to meet and marry 20-year-old Abdulla Jinzawi, some guy she met on MySpace.com. If you don't already know, MySpace is popular on-line social network for teenagers.

I don't know who is more stupid here, Katherine or her parents. I know teenagers think they know everything while being amazingly naive, but this takes the cake. According to the latest news on this story, Family of Mideast Man Upset By MySpace Teen Bride's No-Show, she was supposed to sign a marriage contract as soon as she got off the plane, convert to Islam (wear a head covering, etc.), and live with Abdulla and his family in Jericho. This girl clearly has no idea of the cultural and religious mores that she would be expected to live by, or the danger of simply being an American in the Middle East. (Disclaimer: I know not all Muslims are terrorists; I know that not all Muslim/Middle Eastern cultures treat women as property/second class citizens; however, life in Jericho would be very different than life in Michigan and Katherine probably doesn't realize how difficult returning to the US might be if she changes her mind later).

Katherine's parents and family are stunned. They had no idea what she was planning, or how she could simply get on a plane and end up in the Middle East. Duh. Flying doesn't have an age requirement. Aren't they more concerned about where she got the money for the ticket and hotels? Didn't they know what she was doing on the Internet and who she was talking to? I know that since I'm not a parent some people will say I don't have right to criticize, that parents can't watch their kids every minute, etc. Based on observations of my friends with children, I beg to differ. Parents can and should know what web sites their kids are visiting and who they are talking to.

Katherine's parents obviously didn't do that. They must have also missed the April 9 episode of Dateline: MySpace Invader: A police detective shows teens and their parents that they're not as safe on MySpace as they think. They also clearly never visited MySpace, nor read its Safety Tips for users or Tips for Parents (which includes a link to remove their child's profile from MySpace).

If Katherine's stupidity was unbelievable, her parents' was even worse. No wonder the family is hiding from the media! All I know is this: if she belonged to one of my friends (or my brother!) she'd never be allowed to use the Internet again.

Survey: College Kids Like iPods Better Than Beer

According to an AP story today College Kids Like iPods Better Than Beer.* Apple should be proud. Seriously. Considering the number of college students who devote their time to drinking, this is a major accomplishment. And iPods are much safer than beer. iPods are unlikely to cause binge-drinking and other alcohol-related stupidity (drinking and driving, falling out windows, alcohol poisoning, etc.) Hoo-ray Apple! Good job! Keep those iPods coming!



* This link goes to the FoxNews version. Boycott the CNN version with its hideous apostrophe error ("Undergrad's" instead of "Undergrads")!

Bird Flu Strikes Florida

Here's another e-mail joke that was so good I had to share. I'm glad someone has a sense of humor about this!

My theory: the danger of bird flu, like SARS, is greatly exaggerated by the media. For reliable information about it go to the Center for Disease Control.

Podcasts vs. Lectures

In "Podcast Lectures for Uni Students" the BBC describes how "a lecturer at a West Yorkshire university has abolished traditional lectures in favour of podcasts." I find this idea simultaneously intriguing and horrifying.

I love listening to podcasts and would probably really like it if one of my teachers did this. One of my favorite podcasts, Podvet, is designed for veterinary students and other people who love animals. (Warning: if you visit this site you need to know there is at least one graphic photo of a dog's injuries. You can avoid this by subscribing through iTunes.)

As an instructor, however, I hate the idea of making podcasts. I can't stand listening to a recording of my own voice! I also get the impression that while creating a podcast is easy (especially on a Mac), editing can be time-consuming and hosting it can be expensive, especially if you need to keep buying more bandwidth. At our U that probably wouldn't matter since I'd post any audio files in Blackboard where only my own students could access them, but apparently bandwidth is a common problem with many podcasts.

In short, I'll continue to enjoy listening to podcasts, but don't expect to see them added to my classes any time soon!

Real Invisibility?

What do Romulans, Frodo, and Harry Potter have in common? Devices that allow them to be invisible... and soon it could reality instead of fiction if Scientists may be able to make magic like Harry Potter on CNN.com today is true.

Towel Day

Do you know where your towel is?

In honor of Douglas Adams (1952-2001), author of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, May 25 is Towel Day. For details refer to Wikipedia and the Towel Day web site -- and don't panic!

Celebrities and Weight Loss

In a story carried by most news services today, Janet Jackson claims she lost 60 pounds in 4 months by "eating 'nice, balanced meals' and working out with a trainer." She says she gained the weight for a movie that didn't work out and had to lose it quickly for her next album/tour. Quickly = 15 pounds per month!

Just once I'd like to hear some celebrity thank her personal trainer and/or plastic surgeon (or even admit they exist) instead of pretending that all she has to do look great is eat "nice, balanced meals." If that were true, every woman I know would look like the actresses on Desperate Housewives. Real 40-year-old women don't look like that because only celebrities can afford a personal trainer who plans every meal and custom workouts!

Geez, Janet, be honest and thank your income and your trainer...

What I'm Reading: Julia Child

Last weekend I read My Life in France by Julia Child and Alex Prud'Homme. As the title suggests, it's the story of Julia's life in France with her new husband Paul, how she learned to love French food and cooking, and how she wrote Mastering the Art of French Cooking. It's an entertaining read and I could just hear her voice as I read it -- what fun!

I was so impressed I shared a quote with my technical writing students today:

Writing has to be lively, especially for things as technical and potentially dullsville as recipes. I tried to keep my style amusing and non-pedantic, but also clear and correct. I remained my own best audience: I wanted to know why things happened on the stove, and when, and what I could to do to shape the outcome. I assumed that our ideal reader -- the servantless American cook who enjoyed producing something wonderful to eat -- would feel the same way. (77)

I loved visiting Julia Child's Kitchen at the Smithsonian and I bought her last DVD, Julia's Kitchen Wisdom, with some of my birthday money.

Julie Powell, a 30-year old secretary, loved Julia so much that she spent a year trying every recipe in Mastering the Art of French Cooking. She chronicled her progress on her award-winning blog The Julia/Julie Project, which was published in book form as Julie and Julia: 365 Days, 524 Recipes, 1 Tiny Apartment Kitchen. Such an ambitious project would never occur to me. I guess I like eating more than cooking!

I recommend any and all of Julia's books, but My Life in France is personal glimpse into her private life that is well worth reading.

Cinco de Mayo

Several people sent me this in honor of Cinco de Mayo so I thought I'd share it. Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

*****

There are many stories related to the sinking of the Titanic. Some have just come to light due to the success of the recent movie.

For example, most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellman's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. The Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after New York City.

The Mexican people were eagerly awaiting delivery and were disconsolate at the loss. So much so that they declared a national day of mourning which they still observe today. It is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.

Podcasts Galore

Last fall I discovered podcasts. I was so busy with work that I sort of forgot about them. Yesterday I was reading How to do Everything with your iPod and iTunes by Guy Hart-Davis (my birthday present for myself) which reminded me of the many free podcasts available. After a quick look at iTunes I realized my podcasts subscriptions had stopped auto-updating the last time I updated iTunes, so I resubscribed to old favorites (PodVet, Science Friday, Skywatch, Stardate, and This Week in Technology) and discovered tons more (Archaeocast, Archaeology Channel, MacCast, Mysterious Universe, NPR Health and Science, NPR Technology, The Food Geek, and The Onion). I also figured out how to get recent episodes (more than one of each podcast) so I could get caught up on the ones I'd missed since the Holidays. Wow, I almost filled up my 4GB iPod Nano for the first time!

Another cool thing Hart-Davis's book covers is how to convert your cassettes and LPs to MP3 so you can listen to them on your iPod. Guess what my next project is? :)

Is sure is going to be hard to go back to work next week...

Good-bye Abigail

Abigail Keeler.
1993-2006.
Beloved friend and shoulder-rider, who has forever left her paw-prints on my heart.

The Rainbow Bridge

Slap Your Co-Worker Day is Coming!!

This is one of the funniest e-mails I have received in ages so I couldn't resist sharing it here. I figure it was created by the people who work with Adam Weissman who, according to "Music Hath Charms" in a recent issue of USA Today, inflicts his music on his coworkers by playing his iPod through his computer speakers instead of using a headset. Can you imagine having a really bad day, then having this guy inflict his choice of music on you? The article says he likes to cheer up his coworkers with songs like "The Muppet Show" theme. Yes sir, one incident like this would lead to a severe slapping!

Slap Your Co-Worker Day is Coming!!

Tomorrow is the official Slap Your Irritating Co-workers Holiday. Do you have a co-worker who talks nonstop about nothing, working your last nerve with tedious and boring details that you don't give a damn about? Do you have a co-worker who ALWAYS screws up stuff creating MORE work for you? Do you have a co-worker who kisses so much booty, you can look in their mouth and see what your boss had for lunch? Do you have a co-worker who is SOOO obnoxious, when he/she enters a room, everyone else clears it? Well, on behalf of Ike Turner, I am so very, very glad to officially announce tomorrow as SLAP YOUR IRRITATING CO-WORKER DAY! There are the rules you must follow:

• You can only slap one person per hour - no more.
• You can slap the same person again if they irritate you again in the same day.
• You are allowed to hold someone down as other co-workers take their turns slapping the irritant.
• No weapons are allowed ... other than going upside somebody's head with a stapler or a hole-puncher.
• CURSING IS MANDATORY! After you have slapped the recipient, your "assault" must be followed with something like "cause I'm sick of your stupid-a$$ always messing up stuff!"
• If questioned by a supervisor or police (if the supervisor is the irritant), you are allowed to LIE, LIE, LIE!

Now, study the rules, break out your list of folks that you want to slap the living daylights out of and get to slapping ... and have a GREAT DAY!

Thank God I don't work with anyone who deserves slapping!

A Night to Remember

April 14, 1912. At 11:40 p.m., despite the efforts of First Officer William Murdock, Titanic struck an iceberg and damaged six of her watertight compartments. It took her 2 hours and 40 minutes to sink. In that time 1/3 of those on board escaped in lifeboats. Titanic had more than the required number of boats, enough for about half those on board, but most boats were launched with less than full capacity (for many reasons).

The other 2/3 of Titanic's passengers and crew, over 1,500 men, women, and children, died horribly and needlessly. Many faced death bravely and their stories are part of what keep the memory of Titanic alive today. Titanic died with them, after only four days of service.

Then she, the stricken hull,
The doomed, the beautiful,
Proudly to Fate abased
Her bow titanic.
Praise now her multitude,
Who, nursed her fortitude,
Fell in on deck and faced
Death without panic.

From Poems and Ballads (1896)
by Sir Arthur Quiller-Couch

In 1898 Senator William Alden Smith, who led the American Inquiry of the Titanic disaster, cut this poem out of a newspaper. In late 1913 Smith re-read the poem and was struck by its eerie resemblance to Titanic. Notice that it was written 16 years before the disaster.

The Winner: Dan Brown

I just heard that last Friday "High Court Judge Peter Smith threw out a copyright-infringement claim by Michael Baigent and Richard Leigh, who said Brown's blockbuster plagiarized their 1982 book, Holy Blood, Holy Grail." Read the story on CNN; includes a link to the actual verdict.

Funny, the lawsuit got more news coverage than the verdict. If I were cynical, I'd say that the media only covers surprising/unexpected stories...

94 Years Ago Today

April 10, 1912. RMS Titanic left Southampton, England for her maiden voyage to New York City. While leaving Southamptom her massive bulk snapped the lines of ships moored nearby, including the American Line's New York. A collision was avoided at the last minute, but Titanic was delayed for about an hour. She then crossed the Channel to Cherborg, France and arrived about 7 p.m. The cross-Channel passenger disembarked and after taking on passengers and mail Titanic headed for Queenstown, Ireland.

Warriors of Oz?!

Today's paper, in the coupons, contained an ad for Warriors of Oz by Hamilton Authenticated. Authenticated what? This has nothing to do with the book/movie we all know and love. Dorothy as Zena, Warrior Princess? Toto as a demon dog? Scarecrow the archer, Tinman the Cylon, and Lion the were-lion. What the hell was Hamilton Authenticated thinking and who buys this crap?

Hear that rumbling sound? It's L. Frank Baum spinning in his grave.

Time to Car Hunt?

My 1991 Toyota Camry has an elusive electrical problem. My first clue was when the horn and idiot alarm (the thing that beeps when you leave your keys in the ignition or leave the lights on) quit working. Not having a horn bothered me so I asked both my mechanic and the Toyota dealer what to do about this problem. Both told me it would be expensive to diagnose and repair because it requires essentially dismantling the car. Both told me it wasn't worth it for a 15-year-old car with 200,000+ miles on it.

I really like this car. It's in good shape for its age and still gets good gas mileage. I decided to put up with the elusive electrical problem. Before long the dome light quit, but I didn't really think about it. It could just be the bulb, after all. Then the dashboard lights for the heat/AC quit. They still come back on sometimes, when I hit a bump.

This week the elusive electrical problem added some new, weird manifestations. First, I noticed the "door ajar" light on the dashboard was flickering. It didn't go away even after I slammed all the doors. Then I pulled into McDonald's and, to my horror, realized the windows no longer work. The only time I really need to put them down is in a drive-through -- or when it's warm and rainy and the windows fog over (for which the defrost is totally useless), and that's pretty much all summer. That's when I got scared. If the windows don't work, could the same thing happen to the electric locks? I never lock the doors when I'm in the car now for fear of getting trapped inside. (I'm claustrophobic and just thinking about that makes me uneasy.)

SIGH. I guess it's time to start looking for a newer car. I dread it. I know nothing about cars. My brother tells me to buy a new Saturn using his GM Option 1 because I drive too much to lease. My father-in-law tells me I'm crazy to buy because leasing is cheaper, even if you put a lot of miles on the car. Leasing a car that's a couple of years old is even better. Do I want a Saturn or another Camry? New or used? Can I even afford a new/newer car? Is my old Camry worth any trade-in value? How low can I get the payments? Do I need a down payment? I'm so busy with grading right now that thinking about these about these things, let alone the idea of looking at new or used cars, puts my stress level through the roof.

Maybe I'll just buy a lottery ticket.

94 Years Ago Today

April 2, 1912. RMS Titanic underwent her sea trial and passed with flying colors. Her keel was laid down March 31, 1909 and she was launched May 31, 1911. It took over two years to build her, almost a year to fit her out (complete the insides), one day to test her at sea, and 2 hours and 40 minutes to sink her just five days into her maiden voyage.

Every year from March 30, when Capt. Smith transferred from her sister Olympic, to April 15 I think about where she was each day, and what was happening to Titanic. If only I could change history!

To Be, Or Not To Be: Four Hundred Years of Vanitas Painting

Yesterday my husband and I went to the Flint Institute of Arts to see an exhibit called "To Be, Or Not To Be: Four Hundred Years of Vanitas Painting." You can read Roger's detailed post on his blog. I won't repeat his post by explaining what vanitas is or describing the exhibit, but I will admit that I had a hard time not laughing at the one piece of abstract modern art in the exhibit.

I enjoyed the exhibit. The painting are fascinating and disturbing reminders to enjoy life because it is so short. We couldn't resist buying the catalog because it was only $25. I highly recommend this exhibit but, unfortunately, today is the last day.

The Da Vinci Crock

Lewis Purdue, author of Daughter of God and The Da Vinci Legacy, left a comment regarding my post Plagiarism or Greed? on the recent lawsuits against Dan Brown. He said:

Greed?

If you examine the facts at http://davincicrock.blogspot.com, you will find that I am donating proceeds from the suit to charity.

And that Random House sued ME, not the other way around.

And the legal fight is not over. Next hearing in NYC on April 11

Lewis, thank you for visiting my blog and setting me straight about your problems with Random House. The media sure didn't report your story accurately. (How typical!)

As promised I'm putting this in a new post with the link to your Da Vinci Crock so my readers (few though they may be) will get the whole story.

I've also put your books on my list of books to read and recommend we all read them in the interest of fairness.

I'm sure I won't be the only one waiting to see how your case turns out. Good luck, Lewis!

Oh no! Sudoku!

It finally happened. Like so many other people I have become hooked on the latest puzzle craze: Sudoku. It's my sister-in-law's fault for letting me try her handheld electronic Sudoku. It's much easier than playing the paper-and-pencil version, and I can actually finish puzzles (easy ones, anyway).

For those who don't know, Sudoku looks like a crossword puzzle but uses numbers. I didn't think I'd like it because I'm terrible at crosswords and Scrabble. (Yes, I know it's ironic. *sigh*) Unlike crosswords, Sudoku uses logic rather than knowledge of obscure words even English majors have never heard of; maybe that's why I like it. It reminds me of cryptograms, which I love.

I love it so much I bought my own LCD Ultimate Sudoku handheld game at Wal-Mart. It's somewhat clunky compared to the kind that comes with a stylus (which you can buy at Target or Kay Bee Toys) but I like it because you can get hints if you want, make uncertain answers flash until you figure them out, choose from three levels of play, and even input puzzles from other sources. There's a built-in timer, too. All this for $13! The only thing I don't like is that you can't turn the sound off. I kind of like the sound but it would be inconvenient for travel (unless you want to annoy other people).

If you want to try Sudoku I recommend Web Sudoku. It includes instructions and you can play on-line or print the puzzles. This site has millions of puzzles with four difficulty levels (easy, medium, hard, and evil) and shareware to download so you can play Sudoku on your own computer (PC or Mac) anytime. If you play on-line you can get hints, just like the handheld version. (I like hints!)

The Daily Sudoku is also good but the site is undergoing maintenance just now. You can't play on-line but there is a printable archive with puzzles of all levels of difficulty. The site includes instructions, four types of puzzles (Classic, Monster, Kids, and Squiggly), and the option of choosing the size of the printed puzzle. The kids' section has puzzles that are good for kids or adult beginners and you have the option of choosing numbers or letters.

I recommend this game, especially the electronic form, for anyone who enjoys puzzles or wants to improve their logic/critical thinking. Using my LCD Ultimate Sudoku handheld game my time has improved from about 30 minutes to about 10 minutes for an easy puzzle. I'm enjoying it so much I might even try an intermediate puzzle sometime.

Treasures of Ancient Egypt: The Quest for Immortality

If you are looking for something cool to do on the west side of the state, visit the Treasures of Ancient Egypt: The Quest for Immortality exhibit at the Public Museum of Grand Rapids. This is one of the best Egyptian exhibits I've ever seen and "the exhibition contains the largest and most comprehensive selection of antiquities ever loaned by Egypt, many never seen outside the country." Yes, you would have to visit the museum in Cairo to see this stuff.

Highlights

• Statue of Osirus rising
• Statue of Osirus as King of the dead
• 8-foot head of Ramses II
• 2 gold mummy masks
• 1 nearly intact beaded mummy net
• Recreation of Tuthmose III's burial chamber
• Exquisite, delicate jewelry of a princess
  

There's lots more: shabtis, coffins, god statues (of all sizes), even a boat! This exhibit is worth the drive to Grand Rapids and the $17 entry fee. If you are not familiar with Egyptology you might also want to spring $6 for the self-guided audio tour. Hurry! The exhibit ends May 7.

Plagiarism or Greed?

Dan Brown, author of The Da Vinci Code, is being sued for plagiarism. According to Lawyer: Dan Brown evidence suspect, published yesterday on CNN:

Michael Baigent and Richard Leigh are suing Da Vinci Code publisher Random House, claiming Brown's book "appropriated the architecture" of their 1982 nonfiction book, The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail. Both books explore theories -- dismissed by theologians -- that Jesus married Mary Magdalene, the couple had a child and the bloodline survives.

Brown indirectly acknowledged Leigh and Baigent by naming a character, Sir Leigh Teabing (an anagram of Baigent) after them, but they want more. Their lawsuit could even delay release of the new film of The Da Vinci Code.

According to 'Da Vinci Code' case nears ending, published Sunday on CNN, this not the first time Brown has been sued over The Da Vinci Code, "Last August he won a court ruling against Lewis Perdue, who alleged The Da Vinci Code copied elements of two of his novels, Daughter of God and The Da Vinci Legacy."

What do these cases have in common? Greed, I'm sure. The Da Vinci Code has been on The New York Times best-seller list for two years and has sold over 40 million copies. 40 million! Just imagine that. Even if Dan Brown makes less than a dollar in royalties per book, he has made millions. I'm sure Leigh and Baigent, like Perdue before them, are motivated by the idea of getting part of that money.

I hope they don't. I'm ticked because of their greed and because their lawyer is now trying to drag Brown's wife, who helped with the research, into the case. If Leigh and Baigent win, does it mean authors can't use non-fiction or history in fictional works? I supposed we can thank James Frey, author of A Million Little Pieces, for muddying the distinction between fiction and non-fiction, but Brown acknowledged that fact that he's read lots of books on his subject and none of the ideas are really new. He's right. What's new is the creative and compelling story he created that is driving people to learn more about art, history, and religion -- and I hope he's not punished for that.

Would Jesus Use an Apostrophe?

The other day I passed church sign that said:

Are you ready for Jesus return?

I don't think the sign had the intended affect result.* All I could think if was WPWJU (What punctuation would Jesus use)?

I wish people would learn how to use apostrophes!


* This is for you, Mermaldad! Everyone else can read the comments to see why.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Two Irish men were shipwrecked. After some time in the water they manage to crawl up on an iceberg.

"Are we safe now?" asked Patty.

"Of course," said Mike. "Look, here comes Titanic!"

Eat or Sleep? Now you can do both at the same time!

According to "Study Links Ambien Use To Unconscious Food Forays" by Stephanie Saul published in The New York Times Tuesday Late Edition - Final on March 14, 2006, page 1:

The sleeping pill Ambien seems to unlock a primitive desire to eat in some patients, according to emerging medical case studies that describe how the drug's users sometimes sleepwalk into their kitchens, claw through their refrigerators like animals and consume calories ranging into the thousands.

The next morning, the night eaters remember nothing about their foraging. But they wake up to find telltale clues: mouthfuls of peanut butter, Tostitos in their beds, kitchen counters overflowing with flour, missing food, and even lighted ovens and stoves. Some are so embarrassed, they delay telling anyone, even as they gain weight.

One patient "did not link Ambien to her nocturnal eating until after she gained 100 pounds," even after her family told her about her sleep eating. Why on earth not? Where did she think the weight was coming from? Did she just wake up every morning and say, "Wow, honey, I slept really well, but I seem to have gained a bit of weight -- hey! where's all our food? Oh, well, time to hit the grocery store."

If you don't have electronic access to the NY Times, you read a simliar story on Fox News today: Ambien linked to "Sleep Eating."

The Curse Continues

I wrote too soon about things being back to normal, technologically. Today my iRiver portable CD player died. It was only two years old and I loved it for several reasons:

• It was so slim and portable -- with skip protection, too!
• It had a car adaptor, so I never had to listen to the radio.
• It played mp3 format. I could convert my audio books to mp3 and fit a book on one disk. That meant listening to a whole book without the inconvenience of switching disks while driving.
• It had easy-to-use switches (off, on, pause, reverse, etc.) that I could use without taking my eyes from the road.
  

Now it's dead and the company no longer makes portable CD players; they have been replaced with iPod-type mp3 players.

I love my iPod but I don't want to use it in the car, not even with a car adaptor and dashboard iPod holder. To do so would mean taking my eyes off the road. *Sigh.*

Fortunately, iRiver has a web site and an 800 number for customer service. They helped me find an older version of my beloved CD player in their clearance section. The price was so low they were practically giving it away. UPS tracking says it will arrive Friday, just in time for my trip to Kalamazoo Saturday, so I am saved from the boredom of radio and the danger of using an iPod in the car ... for now.

Oh, the (Technological) Irony

After my post the other day on Amazing Technology two things happened to shake my faith in my current technology.

First, on Friday I couldn't get on the Internet. Everything was hooked up correctly all the modem and router lights were happy, etc. First I called my Internet provider, then I called the company that made my router, both walked me through a bunch of troubleshooting steps, said it wasn't their product, and blamed the other. (Of course!) I spent the morning at the library using the free Wi-Fi only to discover that the problem had mysterious corrected itself by the time I got home. My IT buddy Dan called it a "server hiccup" -- there was nothing technically wrong, just a temporary loss of connection to my service provider. How annoying! I hope that doesn't happen often.

Second, on Sunday my Airport Express (which allows us to use our laptops wirelessly) died. I mean dead, and it's only two months old. Fortunately, Apple has outstanding customer service. They immediately shipped a replacement which arrived the next day! I was less pleased with CompUSA who would not exchange it, even though it was under warranty, because we didn't purchase their CompUSA customer service along with the Airport Express. I believe customer service should come with a purchase, not be something I pay extra for. Needless to say, I will never purchase anything from CompUSA again!

So things are back to normal and, technologically, life is good.

I love technology ... when it works.

That Explains Everything!

I found this in an ad on WebMD:

"Being active and over 40 can be a pain. Boomeritis."

That explains everything!

Amazing Technology

Technology amazes me. My first computer didn't have a hard drive. It took up the entire desk and weighed a ton (and it was small compared to its contemporaries).

My first hard drive was external and held 20 or 30 MB. I never imagined filling up all that space. Compared to our currently technology this is laughable, especially when you look at the size of the case. Talk about big and clunky!

My laptop PowerBook G4 weighs less than 5 pounds and does everything a desktop computer can, plus it's wireless. It holds 2,000 times as much data as my first hard drive.

My Lexar Jump Drive Pro holds a gigabyte. It's the size of my thumb and holds 50 times more data than my first hard drive!

My 4GB iPod Nano holds over 200 times more data than my first hard drive!

I use my laptop, jump drive, and iPod daily and I am still amazed. If computer technology has advanced this much in the last 20 years, what does the future hold? I can hardly wait to see. Maybe I will live to see Star Trek type computers. Scotty, beam me up!

***************************

Math and computer geeks can skip this section; it is for the mathematically impaired (like me). I had to ask two different people to calculate the comparison of my first hard drive to my current technology. LOL.

How the heck are gigs (GB), megs (MB), etc. measured? Here's a quick reference from greatest to least:

Gigabyte = 1 billion bytes, or 1024 MB.
Most hard drives are now measured in GBs.

Megabyte = 1 million bytes, or 1024 KB
According to Wikipedia, a megabyte of data can roughly hold:
* one larger book (excluding images)
* one "typical" sized photograph with reasonably good quality
* a hundred small images
* roughly a minute of compressed music

For comparison: A CD holds 700 MB of data or 80 min. of uncompressed music

Kilobyte = 1024 bytes
This is how much a 3" floppy disk holds.

Byte = 8 bits. Standard unit of measure for computer storage space.

Bit = binary digits

Binary digits (or binary code) are the magic combination ones and zeros that make your computer work.

History vs. Fiction

Yesterday I stopped at a Speedway for some pop and ran smack into a conflict of academia vs. popular fiction. One the guys who worked there was telling someone about the Knights Templar in great detail. When I got to the counter I asked him if he was interested in the Templars. He said,

(WARNING: Academics of a sensitive nature will probably be horrified by his answer and should stop reading now.)

"Yeah, I've read The Da Vinci Code and seen Kingdom of Heaven."

There was a long pause as I tried to decide how to encourage this young man's interest in the Templars without sound like a condescending jerk by telling his sources are fiction which took great liberties with history in order to tell an entertaining story.

I finally said, "You know, if you are interested in the Templars, there are much better sources you could read."

Instead of being offended he was very interested. "How did you know about the Templars?" he asked.

I fought the urge to say "I read history books" and instead I explained I was college instructor and had long been interested in the Middle Ages.

He wanted to know if I could recommend any books and of course I could only think of one (Dungeon, Fire, and Sword by John J. Robinson) so I suggested he try any library and search on "Templars" or "Knights of the Temple."

(WARNING: U of M profs of a sensitive nature, especially history profs, will probably be horrified his answer and should stop reading now.)

"Cool," he said. "I go to U of M, I'll try the library there."

I restrained myself from asking if he'd had a class in history or research, or asking why he hadn't already done so, and instead encouraged him to visit the library soon.

I was horrified by this encounter. I knew some people have trouble understanding The Da Vinci Code is fiction, but hadn't run into it quite like this. I wish Dan Brown nothing but success (I liked all of his books, including The Da Vinci Code) but I think he needs to print "This is a work of fiction" on the cover instead of putting in the preface/forward/wherever.

If the young man from Speedway is reading this, I'm not picking on you, but please restore my faith in logic and common sense by reading some reliable sources about the Templars.

Fat Tuesday Treat

Paczki - (pronunciation: punch key) pl. Paczki. n. Polish for jelly-filled doughnut rolled in powdered sugar. A special treat eaten on Fat Tuesday, even by those who do not intend to give up such treats for Lent.

Fat Tuesday always sparks a debate over who makes the best Paczki. I think it's the Home Bakery in Davison but I have some of friends will only buy them from Jablonski's Baker's Corner (authentic Polish bakery) in Burton.

What's the best filling? Bavarian cream -- it's like pudding inside a doughnut. I don't crave sweets so one Paczki a year is just about right, as long as it's Bavarian cream.

Shades of Damocles

This week is spring break, a time when students traditionally travel to warmer climates to party. I much prefer to stay home, relax, rest, read, and catch up on movies. I'm doing some of that but I'm also doing a lot of grading. This is the dark side of teaching writing.

Here's what makes grading writing hard:

1. It's time-consuming. To do a good job and be fair, I need to make sure I'm not tired and cranky when I'm grading. That means as much I would like to work straight through and grade all the papers at once and get it over with, it's not a good plan.

2. Knowing I have ungraded papers (unfinished work) stresses me out. It's like the Sword of Damocles, or should I say "the stack of ungraded papers of Damocles"?

3. I get no sympathy from anyone outside of academia. If I try to explain why I feel stressed out and cranky my listener inevitably says, "don't assign so many papers." Hel-LO! I teach writing. I have to assign papers. You can't teach someone how to write by giving them multiple choice exams! I wouldn't survive the stress if it weren't for the support of my fellow writing instructors. (I don't think I've said this, but thanks you guys!)

Students usually don't realize how stressful grading is or how much work it is. I know my own workload should make me more sympathetic towards my students, but when they complain about the five papers they have to write for my class, I just point out that for every paper they turn in to me, I have 96 to grade. (4 classes x 24 students each = 96.)

Why am I blogging if I have so many papers to grade, you ask. Well, like all writers, when I'm under a lot of pressure avoidance kicks in. Perhaps you've heard the expression "No one has a cleaner house than a writer with a deadline." The same is true of grading. Also, I'm too tired to grade right now so I'm doing something I enjoy.

I am participating in study this semester on meditation and stress reduction. I'm afraid I'm really messing up the data. I find meditation relaxing if I don't have a lot of work to do, but I can't do it when I have a stack of ungraded papers hanging over my head. Instead of focusing on the meditation and relaxing all I can think about is how many papers I could grade it that amount of time. Finishing my work reduces my stress far more effectively than meditating. Does that mean work is a form of meditation? What a scary thought!

If feel stressed every time I have a batch of papers to grade, why am I complaining this time? Probably because I'm just tired and cranky this week. I don't know if something is setting off my allergies or if I have cold, but I feel under the weather and resent being sick during my spring break! Grading during break I expected and planned for, but being sick, especially during what should be my time to do what I want, annoys the heck out of me.

I'm sure I'll feel better soon, especially if I get a lot of grading done.

Those Darn Box Elder Bugs!

It's February. It's in the 20s with near-zero windchill. Why do I keep finding Box Elder bugs in our apartment? I could understand it when the unseasonably warm temps in December and January might have been responsible for waking them up from their long winter's nap; however, why aren't they napping again? Where are they coming from? How the heck are they getting inside? Whatever their methods, I think they've started to tell their friends they've found a great winter hangout because the other day we found a ladybug.

Do Your Own Pest Control says Box Elder bugs can show up in the dead of winter and that they like to hide in the foundation, especially on warm southern and western exposures. I have no idea what they are living on, especially in the winter, since we don't have any box elder trees! At least we've only seen about one bug a month, so it's not a infestation. It's just a weird annoyance.

Bugs, I have a message for you: this apartment ain't big enough for all of us. The humans pay the rent and this human will squish you like a bug. Yeah, it's cruel, but it's better than being eaten by a Siamese Snowshoe cat. Tell your little buggy friends: move here and you'll get squished or eaten.

Get The Real Thing

All three campuses of the University of Michigan have stopped selling Coca-Cola products because of Ann Arbor students protesting Coke's alleged human rights violations in Colombia and India. Read about it at the Detroit Free Press and UM (Ann Arbor) web sites.

Diet Coke is my favorite beverage in the whole world (regular in the morning; caffeine-free after that). I don't mind bringing my own pop to work, but I do wonder why I can not find any evidence of the alleged human rights and an environmental issues the Ann Arbor students were protesting. Without evidence, this is just a bunch of students getting worked up over nothing and inconveniencing Coke drinkers on all three campuses as a result. I know they mean well, but their protests are unsubstantiated and therefore invalid. If anyone finds any evidence of their claims I want to see it!

Update Feb. 17: Despite UM's break with Coca-Cola and the alleged human rights and an environmental violations, Coke's stock (and presumably sales) remains steady, so banning Coke from UM has done nothing to hurt the Coca-Cola company. I wonder what the protestors hoped to accomplish?

Michigan Slogans

Today I got an e-mail from brother and sister-in-law with Michigan trivia. It ended with a list of Possible New Slogans for Michigan that was so funny I couldn't resist posting it here:

The one that looks like a mitten, you moron.
Where used cars from Florida brings top dollar.
No hurricanes here.
The Orange Barrel State.
So close to Canada, you can hardly tell the difference.
We know the rules to euchre.
Got fudge?
Two Mystery Spots. No waiting.
Yes, the Porcupines are real mountains.
Soda? We say pop here, buddy.
The Midwestern "M" state without a wrestler for governor.
No riots since '67.
More than just boarded up auto plants.
Casino fever -- catch it.
Sandy beaches without severe undertow.
Happiness is a warm pasty.
Imagine an island where horse manure still litters the streets.
Water enough for any drought.
Visit Hell, Paradise, Christmas and Climax. (Can do it all the same day!)
Birthplace of Meijer Thrifty Acres.
Where Ontario is a shortcut to New York.
Gerald Ford slept here.
It's called snow. Get used to it.
Where the names of high-toned suburbs needlessly end with "e."
Deer processing available here.
Not as flat as Indiana.
Try eating corn flakes without us.
Hardly any annoying lizards or poisonous snakes. Big on flannel.
It's not the heat. It's the humidity.
Smoked fish sold here.
Good people with camping trailers.
We moved American history to Dearborn.
No toll roads and proud of it.
Our biggest bridge makes yours look puny.
Nearly went to war with Ohio once and will do it again if they pull any funny stuff.
Land of snow machines and bass boats.
#@?!* mosquitoes.
We know a place where wooden shoes are always in style.
Where lousy teams get new stadiums.
Speed limit is back up to 70, so move it!
The Red Wings State.

I thought of a couple more:

Where octopus is synonymous with hockey.
If you don't like the weather, wait five minutes. It will change.

Superbowl Commercials

The groundhog was right: we got about 5 inches of snow Saturday night. Detroit cleared the snow in record time, wanting to make a good impression on all the people in town for the Superbowl. (Detroit residents: I'd be insulted if I were you! The city has shown they really can remove snow efficiently when they choose to. Their actions are saying that out of town guests are more important than you are.)

Speaking of the Superbowl, my favorite part is the commercials. I just found the Superbowl Ads site where you can watch the ads; some are also available through iTunes. This year my favorites fell into two categories: funny and TV/movie ads.

My Favorite Funny Commercials
* Budweiser. I loved the baby Clydesdale trying to pull the wagon. How adorable!
* Career Builder. We all know the guy who works with monkeys (I love those commercials!); now he has met a girl who works with jackasses. LOL.
* Aleve. Leonard Nimoy can give Trekkies the Vulcan salute thanks to arthritis-relieving Aleve.

My Favorite TV/Movie Ads
* Lost. There were several but my favorite was the guy singing something like "admit it you're hooked on Lost." Watch the Commerical on ABC!
* Pirates of the Caribbean. Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, pirates, swashbuckling -- what's not to like?

Best of all was the 2nd Annual Puppy Bowl (with Kitty Half Time Show) on Animal Planet. We watched it twice. How can anyone resist watching puppies and kitties playing? (Yes, I am easily amused.)

Happy Groundhog Day!

Happy Groundhog Day! Punxsutawney Phil, the weather-predicting groundhog, saw his shadow this morning, which means six more weeks of winter. Wait, seeing his shadow because its sunny means more winter? And no shadow means an early spring? I've always wondered about that, so I did a quick Google search to learn more. The Punxsutawney Groundhog Club includes history and FAQ about Phil and Groundhog Day. (It's another tradition we can blame on the Germans.) Another site sells official groundhog souvenirs.

Actually, I've always suspected this holiday was created by someone with severe cabin fever looking for any excuse to get out of the house. What else could explain taking a sweet, sleepy critter out of his snug, warm den and waving him about in front of a cheering crowd? I've always felt sorry for Phil. I'd hate it if someone woke me up like that. They probably use a groundhog because groundhogs are too sweet to bite under such circumstances.

What I really want to know: since this winter has been much warmer than usual, does Phil's prediction mean that winter will really start now?

Beating the Winter Blues

It's the end of January and it's still warm and rainy -- yuck! What happened to the lovely, cold, dry weather that is so good for my sinus/allergy problems? The weather cold enough for me wear all my favorite snuggly sweaters? SIGH.

I've found one thing that makes the yucky weather more bearable: a Go Lite by Apollo Health for seasonal affective disorder. I think it's only for mild seasonal depression, not clinical depression, but you can read more about it on the web site.

We shopped around on the 'net and paid much less than the $200 listed on the web site. Mine is not programmable, like this picture, which might be why it was so much less expensive.

I've been using my Go Lite for about half an hour each morning, usually when I'm reading the news, weather, e-mail, etc., and having my morning caffeine and it really seems to help.

The real good news: we have 47 minutes more daylight than we did at this time in December.

Totally Wireless

Thanks to my friend Dan from Information Technology Systems, my home network is now wireless! I can now sit in the living room with my laptop and be on-line, print to the laser printer from any of our three computers, and share files between the computers. God, I love technology!

Frankly, with two on-line classes this semester, I'm just relieved to be back on the 'net after the death of our old router. The other day I had to take my laptop to the local library so I could work on my classes. This seemed like a good idea, especially since the library now has Wi-Fi, but it's not a good solution if you live in a small town. I was there for an hour and ran into three people I know. All of them wanted to visit and admire my laptop, which was nice but distracting.

Now the only thing I have to worry about is power failure... :)

Why I Hate January

The holidays are over.

The snow is gone.

It's warm, rainy, dark, and dreary.

Two days after Christmas (two days!!!) some retailers started putting out St. Valentine's candy.

God, how I hate January.

Christmas TV Trivia

Are you watching your old Christmas favorites on TV, VHS, and DVD? Do you sniffle when Santa sings with the little Dutch girl, Frosty melts, and George Bailey realizes he really does have a wonderful life? If so, you are ready for my first-time-ever Christmas trivia!

For each clue name the Christmas special/movie.

1. Mr. Gailey proves that Kris Kringle really is Santa.
2. Bob Wallace and Phil Davis save the Columbia Inn from bankruptcy on Christmas Eve.
3. Bing sings “White Christmas” for the first time in this movie.
4. Uncle Billy misplaces $8,000 on Christmas Eve.
5. We meet Father Chuck O’Malley for the first time.
6. Max pulls a sleigh full of Christmas cheer.
7. The Winter Warlock puts one foot in front of the other.
8. Scott Calvin becomes the new Santa.
9. Scrooge’s debtors sing “For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow” and dance on his coffin.
10. Francis Xavier Cross produces the world’s worst version of A Christmas Carol, live, on Christmas Eve.
11. The misfit toys hope Santa find them new, loving homes.
12. Henry Travers (best known as Clarence the angle in It’s a Wonderful Life) plays selfish Horace P. Bogardus.
13. Skating to “Christmastime is Here.”
14. Randy can’t put his arms down.
15. Hocus Pocus runs away from Professor Hinkle, the world’s worst magician.

The answers are in the Comments section.

Tolkien on Film Nominated for an Award!

Tolkien on Film: Essays on Peter Jackson’s The Lord of the Rings (which contains an essay by yours truly) has been nominated for an award! Tolkien on Film was edited by Janet B. Croft, published by Mythopoeic Press, and is for sale on Amazon.

If I understand correctly, the awards will be presented at The One Ring Celebration: The Official Convention for Lord of the Rings Fans (Authorized by New Line Cinema) in Pasadena, CA, January 20-22, 2006. Convention Info

The One Ring is a fan site which is mentioned in some of the film documentaries included with Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings films.

Anyone can vote here. Item #2 is Best Tolkien themed book published in 2005. Tolkien on Film is #4 in the list of nominees. Vote early and vote often and thank you for your support!

Let it Snow!

It's a beautiful, snowy day in mid-Michigan. We're supposed to get 6-8 more inches of snow tonight.

Everybody sing along: Since we've no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

Blogging in the Library

I'm doing something I've always dreamed of: working in the library atrium (the coolest view on campus) on a wireless laptop!

Why the library atrium? Because it's got a wall of three-story windows overlooking the Flint River, with lots of trees, and nice view of the William S. White Building across the river. This beautiful view more than makes up for the lack of windows in my office. Over here I have the biggest windows and the best view on campus. If I ever find a good picture I'll post it on my blog.

How did this dream come true? The university had money to spend on on-line instructors. When my Department Chairman asked for my wish list I requested a laptop (12-inch Apple PowerBook G4), a 1 GB jump drive, and a puppy.

Yesterday the laptop and jump drive arrived. The Department Chairman assures me the puppy has been sent to the Foreign Languages department for housetraining. They have it hidden really well, since I can't find any signs of it.

In the meantime, I think I'll call my new laptop Spot, since it has a white Apple-shaped spot on the top.


Image taken from Apple's PowerBook specs.

Now I need to quit having fun and get back to my end-of-the-semester grading.